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Charter of Coalition
The Charter of Coalition was the founding document of COMPGOS (Commission for the Preservation of Galactic Chaos -- i.e. the Empire), a post-Bastion Accords successor to COMPNOR. It dealt with both defensive and offensive matters and also political behavior. The Charter We the leaders of these Imperial factions do agree that this document shall be binding and of utmost importance. Blah blah blah and etcetera. Glory to the Empire! *''ARTICLE I. The signators of this document will in no way treat each other with unwarranted hostilities nor shall they miff, irk, bug, cause terrestrial inconvenience or annoy one another without first declaring their intent and/or providing the targeted party with insufficient time to respond.'' *''ARTICLE II. The signators of this document will come to the aid of each other if and when another signator is threatened with war or any other political inconvenience by a foreign power.'' *''ARTICLE III. The signators of this document will endeavor to train their soldiery in basic combat skills thus making them worthwhile to possess and also so as to improve the tarnished image now held by Imperial stormtroopers.'' *''ARTICLE IV. The signators of this document will take every opportunity to mock, belittle, and otherwise treat the New Republic and its political successors with undue but thoroughly smug rudeness.'' *''ARTICLE V. The signators of this document will do unto the Jedi that which they shall do unto the Republic save for the those select few whose deeds have made them as gods; chief of these being the Holy One Who Deals Divine Wrath in the Form of Immense Caliber Weaponry.'' *''ARTICLE VI. The signators of this document will produce for public sale certain hunting licences which the possessors of will thus be enabled to legally hunt those furred bears known to some as 'Ewoks'.'' *''ARTICLE VII. The signators of this document will supply at affordable rates rent-for-a-weekend combat walkers for the hunting licence possessors to employ in their sport.'' *''ARTICLE VIII. The signators of this document will adhere firmly to the doctrine which holds the Galactic Empire to be 'good' and the New Republic and its political successors to be 'bad'.'' *''ARTICLE IX. The signators of this document will ensure that TIE series fighters maintain those attributes that render them inferior superior dogfighters to X-wing fighters; these attributes being namely far greater speed, acceleration, maneouverability, swiveling chin-mounted lasers, and also improved fragility.'' Amendments There were several amendments which were later added to the Charter. Chief among these are: *''Article III: Amendment. In addition to seeking competence of soldierly skills it shall be endeavored by the signators to allow the battle-gear of their legions to withstand those energy and physical projectiles which can be reasonably expected to block. An exception to this shall be made when such projectiles be launched by the Holy One Who Deals Divine Wrath in the Form of Immense Caliber Weaponry.'' *''Article VIII: Amendment. Care will be taken to involve the general populace in the political process by continuing the rehabilitation of representative government first begun by the Empire thus rendering the propaganda by the New Republic and its political successors null and void. To this end Imperial citizens shall be denied all form of civil rights.'' *''General Amendment I. The signators of this document will cooperate to raise and support a military that is truly proportionate to the populace. This feat accomplished, the named organization will proceed to Wipe them out -- all of them.'' *''General Amendment II. The signators of this document will, on the third day of the first standard week during the sixth standard month, will distribute among the populace seventy-four quarts of strong liquor (or Jawa juice), one blaster, two vibro-blades, and one two-way ticket to Coruscant that they may partake in the daily tour of the Senate building and Jedi temple.'' *''General Amendment III. The signators of this document will endeavor to engage in mirthful capers atop the grave of Jacen Solo.'' Category:Weird stuff